Oh boy, them women have been hogging the spotlight a tad too much this past two weeks, haven't they?
First, they distract us from the neat conclusion to the ruling government's long war against the most deceptive of humans to ever pollute our spotless democracy.
It was the hottest political upheaval in the nation, with all the spice a political scandal needs – sodomy, an intellectual politician with a million dollar smile and wit that could charm the pants off righteous men (too soon?), a long suffering wife, and a family that has been the pawn time and time again in this tropical game of thrones. Sorry, not literal thrones, but figurative ones in Putrajaya, where winter is perpetually coming.
How do these women steal the spotlight from the nation's longest running political soap opera? By screaming R-A-P-E.
In case you are not aware, women are forever bleating about their misfortunes, blaming patriarchy for their inferiority and framing men for acting on their urges when they themselves were the ones to seduce men with their obscene bodies.
Setting off the banshee siren this time around was none other than the Jezebel herself – Chong Eng, the Penang State Exco for Women, Family and Community Development. She who is constantly butting into matters that do not concern her and speaking out of turn. How dare she?
Two Mondays ago, Chong Eng released a press statement, setting of alarm bells all over the country.
This woman had the gall to criticise a JAIS sermon that carried the message of dressing modestly to prevent rape. Sounds pretty sound/logical, don't you think? You won't leave your house without locking it and be assured that it won't be broken into, right? Do you even leave your car unlocked at night when it is parked on your front porch? Of course not.
But "NO" said the Penang assembly(wo)man. She once again stepped beyond her line, claiming that the sermon "gave misleading information on rape, smacks of victim-blaming, and shows male bias in religious leadership."
What more, she insisted that rape is not about sex, but about power! That covering one's body did not mean they could not be raped.
Oh for goodness' sake! We all know that women's bodies are sinful and are tools for the devil to cause righteous men to stumble. If it is about power, then it is all about the power women possess to bring downfall to men.
After all, it was Eve who seduced Adam, making him to eat the forbidden fruit. Women are forever using their wiles to "manja" their husbands into buying them Birkin bags and sourcing money for their children to maintain Leo DiCaprio's lavish model-hunting lifestyle.
Sniffing out the BS in Chong Eng's statement, our dear protector from the sacred realms of knighthood tweeted the outrage he rightly felt. Of course she had to be contained.
Our judiciary was having its shining moment by shutting down Malaysia's most dangerous man after a tiresome and wasteful eight years. Justice was finally served, but a woman up north in the ultra-kiasu state of Penang was trying to outshine this historical milestone.
The more she was asked to apologise, the more brazen she got. Not content to let just one of them take all the limelight, she enlisted other women in her campaign. "We support Chong Eng!" "Rape is a hate crime!" Oh, the noise.
Soon we started seeing men, who obviously had succumbed to their charms, supporting the claims of these women! Not one to miss out on the action, Penang Chief Minister Lim Guan Eng, lording from the safety of his "home" state, too came out and said "she is defending the rights of women".
Things were getting quite out of hand until Malaysia's voice of reason and future Nobel Peace Prize laureate, Dr Ridhuan Tee Abdullah had to put aside his pursuit of knowledge to set things right for us confused souls.
Enough is enough, he chimed in. Of course those who covered their modesty by wearing loose clothing could also be raped, he reasoned. In fact, it is easier for it to happen.
"It's because loose cloth is easily removed, compared to tight pants," claimed Dr Tee, the reformed ultra-kiasu and now all-round virtuous man.
He would go on to break it down for us simple folk who clearly can never attain his level of enlightenment. "The logic is simple. Women's bodies are alluring and arousing." Amen!
I can't deny that the feminine figure is provocative. I look down to my lap and the sight of my own cleavage momentarily distracts me. If I myself, a lowly woman, can get enticed by the sight of breasts, what more men, who have to fight a million battles daily with sinful women flaunting their bodies and asking for it. Who is protecting men? Who is standing up for their rights?
It is time for the women of Malaysia to realise that we have been dealt a fair hand. We should be thankful that we are allowed to vote, to drive, to go to school, to go to work and to have rights.
I for certain am thankful to men – from god and my father to my husband and my Malaysian brothers – for all the privileges I enjoy in my life.
To Dr Ridhuan Tee, may god bless you abundantly for your infinite wisdom and charity.
And to women, apa lagi kamu mau? – February 22, 2015.
* This is the personal opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of The Malaysian Insider.
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