Opinion

Rape and the problem with patriarchy

Rape is not caused by what women wear, what women say or where women chose to go.

The reality is that rape is caused by rapists but, unfortunately, society tends to assume differently on such matters.

We are often judged by how we dress, society often imposed guidelines on what we should wear – high heels and skirts will unquestionably send a message that we are “inviting rape”. In such cases, our character and credibility are often questioned.

Women – both young and old – children and the elderly, often represent the vulnerable society which probably hints at why such violation continues.

Violence against women is a complicated issues and the issue of how women dress is only an excuse used by our male-dominated society to justify how some men are unable to exercise self-control or respect towards women.

This only magnifies the complexity of patriarchy within our society and when rape happens, it is almost always our fault.

According to statistics obtained through various sources such as Parliament and the Health Department, there have been 12,735 reports of violent acts committed against women.

These cases include rape, molestation, sodomy, incest and domestic violence ranging from physical to sexual abuse. So is it morally acceptable to accept this oversimplification of rape motives and assume that all 12,735 cases could have been prevented if the victims had not dressed “provocatively”?

Who can forget the horrible news of the teenager gang raped by 38 men in Kelantan or Nur Amyliana, the 11-year-old girl who was raped and killed in Klang? Remember Preeshena and Nurin, both girls were only 9 and 8 respectively, when they were raped and killed.

Dare you tell us that they “asked” to be raped? Dare you tell us to our faces that if they have donned appropriate attire or “tutup aurat”, they would still be alive today?

Based on this argument alone, it seems that the local rape culture is engulfed by yet another patriarchal defence mechanism – blame the women and never the men.

The constant victim blaming that exists solidifies the fact that society tends to lean towards and supports the patriarchal direction for a rape victim’s tragedy. It is always our fault that men rape but rape is never about sex.  

Rape is not a crime of passion but used as a form of control. It is a never about sexual gratification but a tool to harm and humiliate the victim as a result of uncontrolled anger and deep-rooted psychological problems.

Our problem lies in the fact that women must be made to suffer the burden of gender discrimination perpetuated by men.

We are often reminded that it is our responsibility to take appropriate measures to avoid getting raped, harassed or even groped at. Some women are even told that they shouldn’t drink because getting drunk will be an invitation to rape.

If rape does happen and you’re somewhat guilty of doing either one of the above, no one will believe or care if the act was not consensual. It’s almost always our fault.

It is a crime and violates one of the most fundamental rights of a person – the right over our own bodies.

The magnitude of rape increases with society’s attitude and perception towards women. The presupposed values and gender roles that exist in our society often cultivates inferiority where women are seen as sex objects – our existence is to only compliment the masculine form, while men are seen as superior thus are granted the privilege to do as they please.

When such uncontrollable urge surpasses civility, respect and morality – it is almost always our fault.

This kind of thinking is incredibly dangerous as it erroneously allows rape culture to be recognised as something excusable. Everyone – well, almost – understands that rape is wrong.

However, there lies an acute inability to identify the severity of rape because many still regard this as a localised issue or an individual, random unlawful act lumped together with vandalism or theft.

Little priority is given to rape cases and rape victims are usually perceived as already guilty under a judgmental society.

Our male-dominated society asserts dominance through fear and women will continue to be meticulously oppressed by this patriarchal structure.

It is almost terrorism – a passive aggressive method that limits a women’s freedom, mobility and restricts the choices she makes.

As long as society continues to blame women, the threat of rape will continue to exist because, at the end of the day, it all boils down to protecting the male-dominant social structure and patriarchal order.

After all, the goal is to shame and scare women into proper demeanour, one that excuses how men (mis)perceive, (mis)behave and (mis)treat women.

No one deserves to be raped and no one has the right to commit such an act. There is absolutely nothing in the world that can justify or make such horrible motives acceptable in society. No one has the right to abuse another human being through this sickening violation.

Stop blaming women. – February 13, 2015.

* This is the personal opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of The Malaysian Insider.

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