Life lessons from running a marathon

We are less than 24 hours away from the 2015 Penang Bridge International Marathon (PBIM). I have always wanted to participate in PBIM but the timing has not been right, until this year. After a few months of preparation, I wish to share some parallels between running a marathon and living a life.

1. It’s okay to be different

Running: I take up running as a sports for an odd reason. One day, I was tired of having to call and wait for my friends to come to the football field, so I took a jog around the field as a warm-up.

That warm-up became a routine. I enjoyed it, and gradually added more time to it. So in the end, I just do the jogging without playing football. Besides, I don’t really like the physical roughness and the anxiety of playing with other people.

When I was in my Form 4, I won 5th place for a cross-country run. I have never achieved anything like that in a sports individual category. Suddenly, I felt like I am (finally) good at something and can do something meaningful in spite of all my limitations and lack of physical talent.

Living: I sucked at sports. Or so I thought. In retrospect, I think it is not that I sucked at sports. I just didn’t come across the right sports. Everyone is either playing football, badminton, basketball, or tennis.

Even in running, people pay attention only to 100m sprint. When you are not doing any of the popular sports, others judge you, and you begin to judge yourself. Then you don’t feel like doing and trying anything anymore because you resigned yourself to thinking that’s just the way things are meant to be.

Substitute “sports” with work, love, or anything else in life. It’s the same dilemma. Maybe we just have to take the road less travelled and take a shot at what we want to do, instead of the popular roads.

2. Extroverted teams are good, but introverted individuals can be great too

Running: Marathon is an individual sport. Different people run differently, and that’s fine. For me, I couldn’t fathom the idea of running as a group. When I run, I can go anywhere my legs carry me.

There’s that sense of freedom, intentionality, and consciousness. I get to think about a lot of things, some book ideas, reminiscences about the past, etc. There’s nothing like a hard-earned individual achievement.

When you are in a team, you have to interact with people. The team’s successes/failures are shared and sometimes you doubt whether you played a key role. There are things you have to endure such as social interaction, gossips, being a team player, exercising people skills, having burden of being the weak link.

When you run solo, there’s no such nonsense to worry about. Just you and the runs. No need to talk to people.

Living: Teamwork is good, but we shouldn’t overemphasise group conformity. Some things in life are better off being done by an individual or/and individualistic style. Take a great painting or sketch for example.

You can’t have 10 painters all working on the same piece. More is not always better. To paraphrase Susan Cain, “Don't think of introverted individuals as something that needs to be cured.”

3. You go up, you crash, then you get up and start again

Running: I have not been running since my school days, so when I decided to join the marathon, I started from zero. I was exhausted and panting (“pancit”) after 20 minutes of running.

It was quite a humbling and frustrated period as I used to be able to run twice or thrice that duration. But what to do? Life happens, I focused on other things and neglected my running.

The lapse in training caught up with me and the only way to get back up is, well, get up. That’s the thing about running. You are only as good as your previous/next run.

Living: You can be at the top of your class in school, then you go to a university. It’s a different ball game. No more tuition. No more spoon-feeding (hopefully). Your SPM results don’t matter anymore.

It’s the same when you graduate and start your work life. They don’t care about your GPA, they want to know how good you are and what you can do *now*. If you switch job or move to a new company, you have to start again.

4. Don’t wait for anything/anyone, you make a move

Running: If I had waited for a motivation to get me running, I would have missed a lot of training! No motivation will ever come to me.

The hardest part of the training is getting to the training venue. I just have to move my body to the place I’m supposed to run, and then things will be easy.

Living: You want to travel? Book the ticket. You had always wanted to write a novel? Write it. Don’t wait for motivation or divine revelation. Don’t wait for the girl.

Don’t wait for your dream job to land on your desk. Make a call, shoot an email, take a chance. The first steps are the hardest because you have to leave your comfort room/zone. Once you do that, you are as free as a bird!

5. The road is long, take 1km at a time

Running: 42KM is huge! I didn’t really realise it till I ran my first 21KM. My legs were half-dead by the time I finished. Can I run 42KM? I am not sure of that, even until now. But while 42KM is a huge distance, I break it down into 1KM and 5KM bits.

I know that it is always possible to cover next 1KM, that’s what I tell myself (you have to talk to yourself a lot in a marathon!). 1KM is very do-able, but 5KM is a better yardstick to get nearer to 42KM. So to encourage/trick myself to cover the distance of 42KM, I always think of the next 1KM and the next 5KM.

Living: Have big projects/big dreams in your mind. You need that to inspire you. Then break it down into parts that are “doable” and “seeable”. If you have always wanted to write a book, it usually got to be at least 40,000-60,000 words.

How do you do it? One word at a time of course, but while that may be doable, it is not quite uplifting. Go for one essay at a time, about 2,000-6,000 words each.

6. Do the work that make you proud

Running: Do we run a marathon because we want the medals? Do we put so many hours running on the road because we want to complete a marathon? Yes and no. Yes, it helps to have a concrete reward and goal.

No, because even if you take those things away, most runners will still be proud of their runs. Recently, the Tanjung Bungah run was cancelled due to the smoke. As a result, I received a finisher medal even without running!

It was an empty, unearned victory and I felt like throwing the medal like Arsene Wenger did after his Champions League Final defeat. On the other hand, I remember a race in which I was cut by a runner at the last 300m.

But I look back at that memory with pride because I really gave my all, and that’s the most satisfying part. I regret not one hour of my time running on the road.

Living: You may keep milestones or a bucket-list. It helps to have a checklist but those things are meant to keep you going and are not important in themselves. For example, it is not the number of family trips you take that make your life happy, but rather, whether you enjoy yourself in those trips and whether your family had a good time.

Are you proud of your work, of what you have done, of who you are? Those are the more important considerations.

7. Give your all, and to give your all, find something you love

Running: When I run, I have a strong focus and desire. While I have fleeting thoughts on many things and people, I am aware of my legs running, accumulating the kilometres and minutes, and reach my target.

Runners are very single-minded. Our intense focus is run, run, and run towards the finishing line. We will walk and crawl if we have to. We will finish what we started.

Living: This single-mindedness may be why I love running, among other reasons. I have never been able to fully determine whether I really want something. Do I really want to be with this girl? Can I provide for her? Do I really want this job? Do I really want to be an academician?

This indecisiveness had cost me some opportunities, but in running, I am very sure that I want to finish the run. You see, the point is that, to do something great, you have to pursue and work at it intensely.

And to work intensely, you need to have a burning desire and certainty that you want that thing very much. As Steve Jobs said, “if you haven’t found it, keep looking. You will know it when you find it.”

8. Don’t run in the same place, all the time

Running: I get bored easily. I dislike running in places and routes which require me to make U-turns, and rounds after rounds at the same place. I like to run on a straight road all the way, to the furthest place, and take a bus back to where I parked my motor.

On the way back, I get to see how much I have covered and mumbled things like “Wah, one hour ago I was here drinking water.”

Living: In one classic scene (out of many) in the movie “Dead Poets Society”, John Keating stood on the table and explained thus: “I stand upon my desk to remind yourself that we must constantly look at things in a different way. You see, the world looks very different from up here!

Boys, you must strive to find your own voice. Because the longer you wait to begin, the less likely you are to find it at all. Thoreau said, “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation.” Don’t be resigned to that. Break out! Dare to strikeout and break new ground!”

Yes, look at things from different angles. Feel the world from eyes and shoes of other people. Travel! Go places. Surprise yourself and something different from the ordinary.

9.  Enjoy the chase, the pursuit

Running: The sensation you have after completing a long-distance run is more satisfying than popping the champagne, if you know what I mean. But, even then, the run itself is much more satisfied than the end. I get to pass by the shop I used to buy old Master Q comics back when I was a kid.

I saw, somewhere between Batu Feringgi and Teluk Bahang, some lesser-known beaches, beautiful views, sound of the waves crashing, and scenic sunrise.

Living: Not sure how true this is, but some people say that the best part of a relationship/marriage is “the chase”. Much like when we are in the middle of pursuing something, it appears to be just what we want. But when we actually get our hands on it, we lose interest.

Zizek explains it by way of an analogy of a man seeking to live with his mistress, “You thought this is all I want. When you had it there (your wife is dead and you can now live with the mistress), you found out that it was a much more complex situation, where what you want is not really to live with the mistress but to keep her at a distance as an object of desire about which you dream.”

10. Above all, run

Running/Living: I am not ready to run a marathon when I decided to join one. Most of life’s opportunities arrive when you are not 100% ready. You just have to take a chance and run with it. Someday I will stop running, either because of my body, natural deterioration, or death. Until then, I will keep running.

I look forward to the sunrise as I run down the iconic bridge. Much have been said and done. There is only one thing left to do: Run. – November 21, 2015.

* This is the personal opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of The Malaysian Insider.