On setting our priorities straight

As a government scholar who is currently serving her bond locally, I can’t help but wish to unpack the cacophony of judgments and opinions involving Nur Fitri Nordin. I think every Malaysian is now exhausted with the news, but I personally think it is a very serious issue that opens many Pandora’s boxes; thus, we need to keep talking about it.

While most of what I will opine in this article have been repeated by many, with diverse views and opinions that are based either emotionally or logically, I wish to divide my views on the issue here in two parts.

A scholar’s responsibility

Any person who receives a scholarship from any funding body should adhere to the requirements set by the funders. This usually includes getting the necessary grades, or in the case of postgraduates – for us to complete not only the thesis but provide evidence of a strong curriculum vitae that includes presentations of our work at international conferences and academic publications. Certain funding bodies also restrict scholar’s political and NGO-related activities, absconding which will cause a retraction of scholarship.

For those like me who were funded by public money – there is an added pressure to “serve”, where one should always be reminded of one’s responsibility to the nation as a whole. This might sound like a grandiose idea, but that was what I felt when underwent those compulsory courses under Biro Tatanegara (BTN) and throughout the years of completing my PhD, where even a delay in sending in annual reports would result in “warning” emails. Despite the restrictions and bureaucracy, I really felt that my responsibility was to complete the thesis and complete it well.

It was an opportunity that I could not have otherwise imagined, being from a lower-middle class family with no connections and money. It would have been a huge waste, if such opportunities were thrown down the drain.

In this particular case, it is only right for Nur Fitri to serve his full sentence in the UK, and for his guarantors to re-pay all the monies plus interest owed to Majlis Amanah Rakyat. Such scholarships would best be awarded and used to assist students who do not have a level playing field as their fellows who are more fortunate, who more often than not attend private schools, complete with extra tuition and global exposure from family holidays overseas.

I think this case marks a time for us to review our scholarship systems to not only reward the brightest and the best based on standardised tests; but rather to ensure there is an almost equal opportunity for all students, rural and urban, to climb out of poverty and improve their family’s economical standing.

To ensure that we don’t only teach our youths to "khatam" the Quran or force them to pray and confess their sins, but rather for everyone to have a deeper sense of understanding on morality, compassion, and spirituality.

The need for sex and reproductive health education

Nur Fitri is not the only paedophile in Malaysia, or the world. The bigger problem at hand is not only the safety of adolescents and youth from being manipulated to perform lewd sexual acts, or worse, experience sexual abuse- but also to understand the disorder and find a treatment or a solution holistically.

We must teach adolescents and youths what sex is. We must provide an enabling environment for young people to report to a guardian or a trusted source if any person, even though that person is a family member or parent; touch their genitalia or bodies in an inappropriate way. This topic needs to no longer be taboo, but rather a must-have “birds-and-the-bees” conversation to be had by parents with their young children.

Our community needs also to move from having misplaced compassion on rapists in general and emotional public vilification of victims, events or persons. Instead, place that empathy to caring enough about our own surroundings to investigate and report cases of sexual abuse in children. Yes, this is too hopeful to hope for in current Malaysia – but we all need to start somewhere.

We all need to talk about sex objectively. We cannot just joke about it, or share videos of women stripping all over the internet and WhatsApp. We need to understand what are gender identity, sexual orientation, and consent, and to what extend would abstinence work. We cannot have a quick-fix solution about this, but rather continue to educate the masses about sex, and attitudes towards sex.

Reading an article about a teenage paedophile and his struggles to control his urges, falling into suicidal depression; I personally feel we must view this problem from both sides. We must have a sexual offenders’ registry that is multifaceted to include definition of sexual offense, risk of repeat offense, and restrictions around children. However, those who wish to seek psychiatric help should be given the anonymity to be able to come forward and get the psychiatric assistance they need. The old adage, prevention is better than cure, rings true.

Yes, as per the article I cited above, currently there is no valid treatment yet available for paedophilia. However, not being able to research the issue means that there will never be a solution. Incarcerating all would-be offenders would only compound the problem. We need improved psychiatric assistance for the victims too, of course, as such abuse often led to a lifetime of trauma.

We must take the bitter pill of forming a long-term working group to address paedophilia, child marriage, and sexual abuse involving minors. This needs to come with political will by the Women’s Ministry in order to move forward and find a possible solution. – May 12, 2015.

* This is the personal opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of The Malaysian Insider.