I know what you did last Ramadan

The fondest memory of Ramadan to me involved cheating. I think most of us would recall the days during our childhood when we got too thirsty and would sneak a gulp of water when performing our ablutions.

There is just too much shame involved with not fasting and as a kid, I took it very seriously to say that I have completed a full month’s fasting. It was such an achievement to make that claim boldly to my relatives during raya.

Never mind that there were those few days that I cheated.

Personally, Ramadan has increasingly become more and more stressful each year. This is the month where one’s body clock has to be readjusted to fit in that morning sahur and for someone who drinks a lot of water daily, there is the lethargy with not having enough hydration while going about my everyday business.

There is the need to juggle physical exercise with spiritual exercise – that of reflecting, having more patience with everyday challenges and to aspire to just be a better person once the month is over for the rest of the year.

Faith, and especially the act of fasting and reflecting, is personal. But in Malaysia, what is private is increasingly becoming public territory.

Ramadan every year is proof that Malaysians, nay Muslims in Malaysia, in general are a hypocritical lot.

Last year alone, there was the issue with non-Muslims schoolchildren being forced to eat their lunch in what appeared to be a toilet.

Canteens are closed in most schools, with many cafeterias in public institutions, at least, following suit. Certain Mamak outlets have huge signs boldly stating that they won’t serve Muslim customers for lunch.

I am sure there are Mamak outlets that run side businesses to cater for the non-fasting Muslims by having private dining rooms – but I do not have data to support this! Those who are unfortunately caught by religious authorities face being paraded in funeral vans or humiliated on mainstream media for simply, not fasting.

The call to humiliate and shame Muslims who do not adhere to fasting is so great that, I think, it dilutes the meaning of fasting itself.

As a woman, who is allowed to not fast for around seven days due to menstruation, I have to be discreet about eating lunch during the fasting month, too.

There is this taboo about eating in public during Ramadan so much so that it’s become a national norm for office hours to be adjusted to cater for us all rushing to the nearest Ramadan bazaar at 4.30pm just to buy overpriced, tasteless food which would be cold by the time we can break fast.

Then there are the overpriced, outrageously expensive Ramadan buffets, as well as the holier-than-thou attitude of many Muslims about female aurat and everything under the sun.

For a month of reflection, refraining from sins and fasting physically to rest our bodies, Ramadan seems to highlight all the bad about us – gluttony, the need to be mollycoddled from “temptation” and of us judging each other harshly.

For some of us who spend as much as RM100 just to break fast at fancy Ramadan buffets, I think it's time to reflect on what Ramadan really means.

Particularly, last year, barely a week into Ramadan, we found soup kitchens being banned from operations, with the homeless and the urban poor being told to clear off the streets of Kuala Lumpur.

While they are now back, lest we forget, the ideology behind fasting is for us to experience the suffering of others. There exist Malaysians who do not have the means to have meals thrice a day, and are of the working class, earning minimum wage.

The irony of this ban that coincides with the fasting month should serve as a reminder for us all about our hypocrisy in observing fasting during the month of Ramadan.

A positive initiative came out from the fiasco, though. A good friend, Ramesh Vadiveloo, initiated Meals for All at his stall in the Ramadan Bazaar in Section 17, Petaling Jaya. Patrons were able to not only purchase burritos and tacos for buka puasa, but also purchase a suspended meal for the needy.

The idea itself was mooted during buka puasa with a few friends. From that fund-raising initiative during last Ramadan to today, Meals for All have and continue to supply healthy, wholesome meals to the homeless around Klang Valley through its partners Kechara Soup Kitchen, Dapur Jalanan and Need to Feed the Need.

To me, that is the spirit of Ramadan, and one that I will continue to support.

In light of our obsession with the length of women’s skirts and leotards worn to win gold medals for gymnastics in the SEA Games, I hope this Ramadan will see us all reflect more on our shortcomings and the desire to better ourselves – not only to God but also in our daily relationships with fellow human beings.

As a Malaysian who is Malay and Muslim, I urge my non-Muslim friends not to be too self-conscious around me during this fasting month. You can eat and drink in front of me. I salute some of you who have over the years also taken on this annual journey with me.

May we see fewer idiotic statements coming from empty cans this Ramadan.

Selamat berpuasa! – June 17, 2015.

* This is the personal opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of The Malaysian Insider.