Opinion

How to be patriotic overseas

Be afraid, be very afraid. The Najib clique has now threatened to “take action” against Malaysians who have participated in the Bersih rallies abroad and returning to the country.

Deputy Foreign Minister Datuk Seri Reezal Merican Naina Merican says the authorities should throw the book at these people who have tarnished the “image of the country at international level”.

Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Razak, in deriding the mass rally, has also described the organisers and participants as “poor and shallow” in patriotism. Strong words indeed to add to his string of well-publicised expletives.

What awaits you at the KLIA immigration checkpoint is anyone’s guess.

You could be led away in handcuffs to a holding room for unwelcomed foreigners, or allowed to go home to await the midnight knock on the door that many have experienced in the good old ISA days.

Thank your lucky stars if nothing happens, but the message is crude and clear: be patriotic when you are in other countries. The high and mighty in Putrajaya takes offence if you say or do not-so-nice things.

The Bersih rallies have generated much interest in the four corners of the planet and curious non-Malaysians naturally want to know more.

So bearing in mind Putrajaya’s super-sensitivity, here are a few tips on how to tackle some of the tricky questions while showing your loyalty to the motherland in the same breadth.

To help the foreigners understand the situation back home, let the three wise monkeys be your guide: be sure to see no evil, hear no evil and speak no evil.

What is Bersih? It is an effeminate multi-purpose detergent proudly made in Malaysia that has remarkable potential to sanitise anything that is foul or contaminated. It is gentle yet no stain will escape Bersih.

Yellow is a key non-violent ingredient that makes it stand out in the crowd. The brand has mass appeal and a good dose of this merchandise is highly recommended for those intoxicated with power and money.

What’s the fuss about the rally? Oh, it’s a bunch of riff-raffs (400,000 to 500,000) who got nothing better to do than to have a big street party and occupy Kuala Lumpur on a long weekend prior to national day celebrations.

Their camaraderie was infectious and they painted the town yellow – the only colour that had currency with the Bersih participants.

The police were most co-operative, exercising great tolerance and restraint. They provided a safe and secure environment for the masses to sleep out in the open and nurse their serious hangover from the party.

It is certainly a lifetime experience the rally goers could reminisce later on in their lives with their children and grandchildren.

Why were oldies there? Well, Tourism and Culture Minister Datuk Seri Nazri Aziz says the presence of the very senior citizens like Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad, 90, is good for tourism. "It's OK. I don't think old men like him would destroy public property or throw bombs.”

Dr Mahathir is not seen as a threat. Even Datuk Abdul Rahman Dahlan, the Barisan Nasional strategic communications director, concurs saying Dr Mahathir is not “thinking straight”, implying that he is too old and, dare I say, senile.

Bersih is good for senior ladies, too. Look at Aunty Bersih, she is fit as a fiddle.

The long walks and sleeping on the pavement must have done her good. Mohamad Sabu could very well emulate her healthy lifestyle to keep in shape.

On the touchy issue of 1MDB, a Mat Salleh with Google translator knowledge of Malay saw “duit kopi” on a poster held up by a young girl at the rally and remarked “what’s wrong with paying for your cuppa”.

Any Malaysian barista worth his/her coffee beans will have no problem enlightening him that “duit kopi” has very little to do with café latte or cappuccino, and the connotation is bribery.

The loyal Malaysian abroad will endeavour to say that there have been endless campaign against corruption, and there is no appetite for corruption in the country. However, donations are perfectly acceptable and legitimate regardless of the amount.

There is thus nothing wrong with the PM having RM2.6 billion in his personal accounts because it is a donation from a Middle Eastern source.

An Arab gentleman has kindly deposited the money with no strings attached in appreciation of Malaysia’s contribution in the fight against extreme Islamists groups.

You cannot be clearer or more transparent with that. The right spin with a patriotic ring is all you need in a land of endless possibilities. – September 4, 2015.

* This is the personal opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of The Malaysian Insider.

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