Time to update your Malaysian English

A brand name is considered a major success when it is used as a generic trademark, though it doesn't necessarily bring profit to the company. Pampers, thermos and xerox are examples of generic trademarks that have withstood the test of time, and are still widely used.

More recently, terms such as google, whatsapp and youtube are used almost daily to describe our online activities.

But not all generic trademarks make sense, and those that failed to make it to the English vocabulary end up in some urban dictionary. One such slang is "netflix and chill", which means entirely something else than watching endless streaming movies for less than what you pay the enigmatic Malaysian billionaire known by his two initials.

The Malay language too has left its mark in the English language corpus. But so far, our contributions only depict us as a bunch of paddy-harvesting orangutans who now and then run amok with the parang.

We should go beyond such imperialist Western stereotypes.

I know, for a country whose standard of English has declined so much, suggesting words for the English vocabulary may sound silly, but didn't we recently produce a football movie despite being ranked 170-something by FIFA?

Today, we are on the global news radar. For good or bad, Malaysian words and names now regularly come out of the glossy lips of CNN, Al Jazeera and BBC anchor girls. Even Uncle Sam had to travel all the way here, twice, to get a slice of our global fame.

It is time to immortalise these words, if not for Oxford's redundant table weight, at least as part of Malaysian English.

Here are some, in alphabetical order.

apandi. verb to veto despite officially not allowed to do so; "The US seems to have apandied the decision thinking it is the UN Security Council."

azizah. noun a remote control, usually operated from behind iron walls; "The prison wardens confiscated several azizahs after a spot check."

bajet. verb to review one's spending habits by taking away money from others; "Due to the loss of income, he bajeted and still got to keep his official jet."

bashah. noun a title given to someone who is part of the Umno alumni (see Umno).

derma. verb (taboo, used as general insult) to tell someone off for hiding his cash; "Don't you bloody derma, God is watching."

g25. verb to speak up from the safe confines of a well-greased retirement; "I bet he would g25 once he settles the final instalment for his bungalow land."

hadi. noun a type of lizard from the east coast which changes colour from green to red; verb a sudden shift of colours, usually from green to red; "I could not stop because the traffic light suddenly hadied without even turning yellow."

jais. noun a person who shines a torchlight on other people's rooms; verb to barge in to a dark room; "Don't you have any decency to just jais into my place at this hour?"

jackeem. verb to play God; "The obese man with the triple PhD jackeems from his airconditioned office, and nobody dares to question him".

kadirjasin. verb to finally come clean with one's own thots; "Only when he kadirjasins can we see his true writing skills."

kajang. noun a strategically directed mission that went wrong; verb to execute a plan badly; "The FBI is careful this time so as not to kajang the whole operation."

kanda. noun one who flies in from a desert land to solve a crisis. "He regretted becoming a kanda as he has no more hair to lose."

kitsiang. noun questions that have no answers; "The long and detailed press statement by the airline didn't do much but only left more kitsiangs."

kuli. noun a beat-up truck that is yet to be sent to scrap; "The farmer still drives his loyal kuli around despite the occasional breakdowns."

kunan. noun a special brush made of human-like tongues to wipe clean; "Do not use other people's kunans in the toilet, it is advisable you bring your own."

lowyat. verb to rampage in a mall; "They lowyated after finding out the smartphone was actually a TV remote control."

mahathir. noun a broken record; verb to tell something as it is but after years of delay: "There is no use mahathiring about it now, we lost him." 2. verb telling with a straight face: "Don't you worry Chua, you walk up there and just mahathir them, they will fall for it."

marina. noun a state of being born in the wrong family; "He doesn't speak like the rest of his siblings, probably in a marina." 2. An apple that fell far from the tree.

maslan. noun a fried rice dish topped with cucumber served on a wok; 2. a dirty joke shared online.

merbok. noun a patch of grass far from the crowd; "If you don't want to attract attention, go to a merbok so no one can hear you there."

mukhriz. noun an accidental hero, usually bald; "I didn't do much, they made me a mukhriz out of pity."

papagomo. verb to beat up a scrawny malnourished man who has better charm with women; "He didn't dare beat up the African six-footer who winked at his sister, but papagomoed Mr Khan and got cheered for it."

pelarian. noun semi-skilled and skilled blue-eyed people fleeing war, usually not numbering more than 3,000.

rafidah. see g25

razak. verb to hit the jackpot, really big jackpot. "All the TV talk shows didn't bring him luck, but one day he razaked and grew a beard."

rohingya. adj a state of being dehumanised; "They fled the murderous monks and headed for the land of their brethren only to discover they were rohingyaed."

ross. verb (taboo, expletive, used as general insult) to tell someone to save his own money; "Why are  you jealous of my diamond? Go ross yourself."

see-four. verb to silence using violence; "The council workers tried to stop the dog barking but it would not, so they see-foured it."

shaffy. noun a lawyer specially trained to analyse one's anus; verb to insult a man whose hands are both tied; "He shaffied the hungry thief repeatedly before handing him over to the police."

sirul. verb to cry innocence after committing a murder; "Months after murdering him, the shy man siruled in kangaroo land."

tabunghaji. verb to give annual bonus to workers; "No oil and gas companies in their right mind will tabunghaji this year."

tahaluf. noun a very long one-night stand; "They don't love each other, they are just in a tahaluf for the green card."

Umno. noun a university that offers BA and Masters courses in maturity and responsibility (see also, bashah).

wannemdib (also 1MDB). verb to scuttle, to stop, to close a case; "The suspect who vandalised the property in broad daylight was wannemdibbed." adj to be perpetually in debt and yet deny it. "That guy who drives the Bentley is actually wannemdebt."

zahid. verb reaping reward after years of rehabilitation; "Be patient, learn from past mistakes and who knows you can zahid one day."

zammydin. noun the blog version of a homegrown hypermart.

zety. verb to not make oneself clear; to be subject of speculation; “My mother is always zetying around, so we concluded that she agreed with dad.” – February 15, 2016.

* This is the personal opinion of the writer, organisation or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of The Malaysian Insider.